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Storytime

Front Row Happenings

So, I was invited to go with my friend Kayla and her mom to a PostSecret Event. We get there and I immediately panic as soon as I see her mom sitting in the front row with her friend waiting for us. I don’t do well at shows/events with so many people around and I can have small panic attacks at times, especially if I’m ever placed kind of close to the stage in fear that someone on stage will point me out or look at me too much or spit in my general direction….or anything dumb that normal people wouldn’t care about. But, oh joy, front row, at least it was to the side a bit and I had 6 empty chairs to the left of me….so maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Told myself to shut up, be happy for the free tickets, and try to ignore the anxiety monster whispering sour nothings into my ear.

Right as the show is about to start some young college student literally runs in and sits right next to me, reeking of beer and hemp bracelets. Why she didn’t sit in the 5 other empty seats to her left is beyond me. I know it’s dumb but her presence made me quite uncomfortable. She had a blanket around her shoulders that kept touching me which was obviously breaking through my personal bubble and I had to lean on Kayla to get away from it.

An hour in and after my nails have all been bitten off,they turn to the audience to talk, and the first question was to ask why they read PostSecret. The hippie next to me shouts out something that causes the event crew to run over with a microphone to have her talk. Meanwhile I’m hyperventilating and giving Kayla internal bruising from leaning so hard against her to be as far away from a microphone as possible. The hippie goes on telling everyone her “secret” to the speaker and audience, “I normally read PostSecret alone, I always have, it’s become something I do for myself every Sunday for the last 6 years. I began going to these events as well alone and even told my boyfriend and friend I didn’t want them to come, but now I regret it and feel so lonely and wish I had someone here with me”. It may have been my imagination but I felt the entire crowd staring daggers at me like “Give this woman a hug! You’re the only one next to her! She needs support you fool!”. She even gave me this kind of puppy dog look, reaching out for some sort of friend… but I just continued to stare at the gum stuck on the floor and imagine I was somewhere else. She sat next to the wrong antisocial person, and I feel horrible for not being more friendly, but it’s her own damn fault for coming alone.

Side note, if the lady ever happens to come across my blog, I’m sorry dude. I’m sure you’re a nice person and all, but you need to keep your gahd damn blanket to yourself.

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